Ok, so this is a rant.

I don’t often rant so make the most of this. I am quietly fizzing.

I’m ranting about Social Media Gurus (or gooroos as they're sometimes known). It seems that everyone who can’t make money by some other means is jumping on the “You ain’t nothing unless you Tweet” bandwagon, and charging you to tell you the painfully bleedin’ obvious. How much would you pay me to show you how to use Twitter? £50 an hour? £99 an hour? Are you NUTS?

Can you imagine sitting in a pub with your mates and somebody trying to charge you £99 an hour to tell you how to liven the conversation up?

Now don’t get me wrong-  there is a need for a strategy if social media is going to be your route to market, and some people (Suraj Sohda, Internet Marketing Guy for instance) really do provide a necessary service.

But I’m talking about those who have no background in marketing, or who may have a Facebook personal page of their own, and who now feel qualified to advise others on the marketing implications of their actions. By trawling the Interwebs they cobble together a formula for Tweeting ratios (which they often get wrong) and some will even Tweet for you. In fact, one organisation which deals in competitive energy supply has now started to offer social media advice and is outsourcing its customers’ Tweeting to INDIA. Yes, INDIA!

I help people with their marketing, from copywriting to seminars, but here’s some free advice when it comes to social media, and Twitter in particular – my TOP TEN TWITTER TIPS:

1.       Be yourself. If you have a bleak sense of humour, then use it in your branding. BUT…

2.       Don’t be offensive. People dislike smart-arses and it will do your business NO favours.

3.       Be helpful. Respond to requests for help and advice where you can.

4.       Act as a broker. Cross-refer people on your follower’s list. Be a nice guy. If you pass a lead onto someone else then RING the recipient to let them know, then they can be proactive.

5.       Re-Tweet often. Pass on other people’s Tweets to your own followers. People LOVE being Re-Tweeted.

6.       Thank your new followers for following.

7.       Link to useful articles. They don’t have to be relative to your own discipline because this isn’t directly about self-promotion.

8.       Blog regularly. Blog about your own business sector, but also have a “Guest Blog” where you can promote the work of others (which of course brings people to your website).

9.       Tweet links to your Blog. Let people know that you have something of interest to say.

10.   Keep adverts for your services to less than 20% of your total Tweets.

The first and last of these are the most important. Twitter is a SOCIAL medium, so be social. Do NOT bore people to death with a series of blatant ads for your own services. You WILL get unfollowed.

I’ve just saved you £99. I must get a “Donate” button on this website… Oh, and by the way, while you’re here have a look round and see if there’s anything else I can do for you…